Today, June 19th, 2017, I feel at odds with myself, not unlike other Mondays. Monday I need a Sabbatical, and I did swim, but I also need a housekeeper. Fatigue and some loneliness swim before my eyes. I think dinner will help, but not with the longing for something I can’t seem to know. That I am loved deep down in my soul. Laura seems to know it, and out of that heart comes prayer.
i want to go to Canterbury but not alone. I want to read the booklist and stay home, but that feels like admitting that I can’t which is too much to admit. I’m tired on Mondays…maybe like Scarlet , I will think about it tomorrow.Fr. Meinrad says that you shouldn’t go looking for a God faraway, because God is near, right here. But I want to go because I am afraid of time slipping by and I want to be the one with stories and and a new zip in my step. I feel boring, and like I’m getting old fast.
i feel low on hope, although when I prayed yesterday, the Holy Spirit was there in a way that I hadn’t felt praying publicly. I didn’t need to be somewhere fancy, it is true, God showed up in Orofino, on a Sunday in June.
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